Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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