Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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