If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
