The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize