brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
