this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
