I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
