For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
