belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Houston, we have a squirter
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Randomize
