I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
