its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
