Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
