dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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