you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
