My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Randomize
