I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Duck Duck Cougar?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
