i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
