i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
