Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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