he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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