So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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