In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
The adults are the big ones right?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
