He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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