ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize