what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
