Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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