so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
