I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
