I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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