are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
