did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I want to be your penis for a week.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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