seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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