i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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