Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
