and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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