Whatcha textin bout Willis?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
