anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
