i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
