i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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