shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
