ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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