With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize