...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
