she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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