I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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