And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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