You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
