I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
