when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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