Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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