so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Randomize