jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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