If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
