Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
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