The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize