I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
