You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
