it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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