Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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