I must be too annoying 4 u.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
