you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
